Look, I need to talk about last night. It was awful for you and I'm solely to blame. I'm sorry about about that whole thing and I know I messed up. I should have been more careful with my words and more careful about conveying my mother's words to you. I wasn't thinking straight.
I'm genuinely sorry for the trouble caused. I really try not to start things, believe me. We both deserve some peace and quiet, right? But sometimes my own mistakes get in the way, and things bubble up.
You brought up some really valid points yesterday and even though they were against my own family, I understood your pov and agreed with you. I know what went wrong and I know it shouldn't have been that way.
I know I've made things rough for you in the past too, way rougher than they needed to be. Like I said before, I know I can be toxic sometimes and cause a billion problems. A lot of it comes from me taking things too personally, getting invested in a way that makes me react badly, fucking up my promises among a billion other things. but just because I fucked up and I accept that doesn't make it okay. You deserved some stability and support, not the brittle foundations I provided.
It's my regret that I added to your load when life was already throwing enough curveballs your way. You didn't deserve that extra stress, especially not from me.
Seriously, Chaman, you deserve way, way better than how I've acted sometimes. You deserve happiness, peace, and someone who consistently has your back, no questions asked. You're always trying to help others, always playing the saviour even when it's exhausting. It's insane how you keep going.
You're one of the strongest, most resilient people I know. Smart, tough, mature, and genuinely good at heart. That's a rare combo, big man. You've pushed through so much, and seeing you achieve things makes me incredibly proud, genuinely happy. You've been an inspiration, pushing me to be better too.
[Placeholder for additional appreciation content you may wish to add]
I'm going to try, really try, to learn from what you said and from my past screw-ups. I need to think harder before I act or speak. I don't want to give you reasons to be stressed about the same old things again and again. I know you are prolly groaning that I'm saying this again, and it prolly comes across as another lie or empty promise, but I genuinely do care about you and want to improve things for you. I understand that life isn't exactly easy atm for both of and the pickle I find myself in, and I had hoped that things would be better by now. But they aren't and I'ms sorry for that too.
I know saying sorry doesn't magically fix everything, but I needed to say it. I value you more than words can really capture, even if I'm terrible at showing it sometimes.
Please try to forgive me. I'll do my best not to mess up like this again.
I'd like us to go out tomorrow and hopefully have a nice discussion and time side by side. Even if things don't work out in the future, I think it's been a while since we went away from all this noise and just ate together in a nice place.
We can go to one of the placves we have already visited, or try something new. I just want to spend some time with you, away from all the noise and stress.